The majority of women leaders I know noticed over a period of time that when opportunities to lead arose, something inside held us back.
Christine Exley of Harvard Business School and Judd B Kessler found in their research that women are far less likely to self-promote than men and that women rate their own potential more harshly than men do. For example, when both a man and a woman know they answered fifteen out of twenty questions correctly, the woman is more likely to describe her performance less favorably than the man. After all the progress that has been made in some cultures, women are still less likely to take advantage of opportunities. I believe this will be even more true for those raised or working in a church or ministry setting.
Pause for a moment and consider what this might mean for women leaders you are raising up, or the women reading this piece. I know in my own working life that I have agonized over saying yes to opportunities to travel, or speak on large platforms, or take on board positions when offered them. Sometimes I have counted myself out for seemingly practical reasons. “I can’t be away from home because of the needs of my family.” At other times, the reluctance has been “I’m not sure I have enough experience to fulfill the role.” One of the biggest blessings of my life has been a husband who champions me and has believed in my work more than I ever have. He has been the one to say, “They asked you, and so they must think you have the experience for the board role” or “I will step up at home and with the children for those few days so you can travel. You should go.”
I have found that saying yes to opportunities requires preparation on several levels. First, saying yes may require you to step outside your comfort zone. It is rarely comfortable to take on new responsibilities in work or ministry. Saying yes might mean extending yourself beyond what you have achieved before, being tested in new ways, working hard, facing new physical challenges, and dealing with nerves. Staying within the zone of what we know we can manage often feels easier. But stepping out of my comfort zone has always ended up with God meeting me in my weakness and expanding my terrain in some way. Without the prayer, preparation, worry, and work, I don’t think I would have grown in the way I have.
Second, saying yes to opportunities may mean that you begin to operate in a wider geographical sphere than before. That will likely involve travel. This is a genuine consideration, since travel takes a toll on the body and consumes significant time, whether in a regular commute or in one-off trips. For me, travel has often been difficult because I suffer from motion sickness and a back issue. But travel has also been a source of blessing, as I have encountered outstanding leaders in nearly 40 countries, seen beautiful places, and fulfilled dreams of visiting various wonders of the world.
Third, saying yes to opportunities might also involve making practical arrangements at home. The unseen labor of making your home life work when new opportunities come needs to be factored in, but don’t let this hold you back. I know that saying yes to opportunities means the laundry will be up to the ceiling and the fridge I had lovingly stocked will be empty when I return from a trip. But I have learned that the practical needs I am responsible for can be taken care of if I plan things well and in advance.
Finally, saying yes to opportunities might mean that you need extra grace and strength to handle the opinions of others. Jealousy might prompt some to assume you are getting above your station, or others might fear you are leaving them behind. The judgments that women who achieve great things face are real, but they don’t really matter in the end. The truth is the women in our lives are not pushy or proud or unfeminine for stepping into opportunities that open for them. What can you and I do to help women in the church rise up and say yes to God given opportunities?
Dr Amy Orr-Ewing is author of Lead Like the Real You Brazos Press 2024
*Photo by HI! ESTUDIO on Unsplash
